Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
