it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
