the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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