Duck Duck Cougar?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Sober January is a disaster.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
