i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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