i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
