I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
