I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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