i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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