Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
