Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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