In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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