But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
