My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
