When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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