This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
