i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
