just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
