WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
