turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
