I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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