Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
