We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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