true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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