so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize