i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
