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• (850): View more from Florida

  So are we goin out tonight?

  (315): View more from New York

  Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...

  (850): View more from Florida

  And that was fun, wasn't it?

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too

  Fav 18 7060 1150

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• (352): View more from Florida

  Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless

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• (760): View more from California

  Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself

  (760): View more from California

  Though I typed a half of that one

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom

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• (360): View more from Washington

  You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights

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