Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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