Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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