we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
