Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
