Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize