I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
