I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
