Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
