Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
