So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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