i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Randomize
