Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
