State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
