like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
