I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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