come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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