their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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