I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
