Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
