I think I am morally bankrupt
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
