he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You were trust falling into bushes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
