Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I can't put those talents on a resume
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize