Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
