did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You are the jesus of drinking
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
