I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
