part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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