I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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