she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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