so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
