how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
