I got chris browned last night
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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