i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
