dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Randomize