We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
