I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
