Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
