Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
